Im always grateful and thankful that i have supportive friends around me who stand by my side whenever i needed them, who respect and support whatever decisions i make.
My dear friends have been asking me hows work etc, and i have been telling them the same thing with the same ending "im not happy". Hahaha!
Received several comforting lines hoping that i could look on the brighter side, think positively, and most of all, they support my ultimate decision.
All the consultations and supports have given me stronger perseverance to take up the new challenge, overcome this probation period and till then, make a decision.
I have a friend who told me that he had changed 20++ odd jobs (at the age of 24 now), longest being 6mths and shortest 3days. People especially employers might look down on him when they asked about his reason behind all the job changing, but he doesnt really care. Same mentally as mine, we are still young, we can afford to take the risks of changing jobs before we are tied down by our age, family and the commitments we have. Why waste time getting tied to a job you dislike at such a young age?
Though it might be true and yet not a sensible decision especially when people are trying their best to put in more effort, climbing to the top level, earning as much as they can from their employers, hoping to have an early retirement blah blah blah..
But i cant help but think, is this our true happiness? Is climbing the corporate level, earning as much as we can our real objective in life? Or are we following blindly?
Chris have been telling me about the SG education - we are taught to follow instead of the real meaning of education. We are "polluted" by negative thoughts and desires, we are "cultivated" to aim for the degree without knowing why we should. In other words, people do so, i also do so.
Guess some of his points are right. A lot of uni grads cant think, coz they are not trained and brought up in an environment that allow them to have such habits of questioning themselves what they want instead of what they should. We are brought up in a culture to just follow. Students here are trained to get good grades which sadly speaking, is not the real element of education.
After all, I think in whatever decisions we make, whatever path we take, we should be at least supportive of our own actions without regrets. Coz ultimately, we are the ones that make the final decision and walk our life, not the "environment" thats walking our life.
2008年9月21日日曜日
2008年9月20日土曜日
Saturday Wasted
Its Saturday night~!! Time always seem to pass especially fast when you are relaxing. Ive wasted my precious Saturday doing some of my favourite pasttime - DVD/VCD/TV watching, and so fast its the time to welcome Sunday - a day that i dont normally like (as for now).
Well well, but luckily i had an enjoyable friday night. Meeting up with Els and Lies, eating away, chatting away, laughing away. Hahaha!
Wanted to have Muthu's Curry since Jan and Jas did not turn up (they were the ones who "condemn" that place due to some hotty and smell reason.. =x), but too bad my throat condition was not at a bit all better so we decided to resume to our initial dining place - Shokudu, Marche style at Raffles City.
Erm.. I think apart from most of the type of food sold there, everything's the same as Marche. Hahaa! Not very happening leh for me. And some of the food we've ordered is not that whoa (e.g. the Chicken terriyaki Pizza). But the bacon & cheese omelette was delicious! I demand it to be the last taste in my mouth.. Hohoho..
Well well, but luckily i had an enjoyable friday night. Meeting up with Els and Lies, eating away, chatting away, laughing away. Hahaha!
Wanted to have Muthu's Curry since Jan and Jas did not turn up (they were the ones who "condemn" that place due to some hotty and smell reason.. =x), but too bad my throat condition was not at a bit all better so we decided to resume to our initial dining place - Shokudu, Marche style at Raffles City.
Erm.. I think apart from most of the type of food sold there, everything's the same as Marche. Hahaa! Not very happening leh for me. And some of the food we've ordered is not that whoa (e.g. the Chicken terriyaki Pizza). But the bacon & cheese omelette was delicious! I demand it to be the last taste in my mouth.. Hohoho..
We should have gone to Muthu's curry since going Shokudu did no help to save my throat condition. We were shouting instead of talking. Why shout? I also dono.. Maybe coz Els started the shouting 1st? Whahaha! Evil us.. always blaming everything on Els. Hahaha!
The fun part is when we decided to try out Lies's new LG cam phone. Thinking of themes to our photo shooting. Haha! There's a pic that's super hilarious!! Made me laughed non stop. A stupid nerdy pic of Els! Whahaha! I shall post the pics when Lies send us. Hahaha! A super 经典 pic of her lor!! Hahaha!! .....
2008年9月19日金曜日
ZzzzZzzz
It has been a boring working week for me. With nothing to do at all! And i mean really on idle mode!! I was not given any tasks, i was juz deserted at my desk, reading a shipping book that my buddy borrowed from other colleague.
The book was quite interesting when i flipped through the first few pages, introduction to the shipping world, its terms, and there's some black & white pictures of the different ships and cargoes etc. But it became a "lullaby" book after hours of reading. Although i appear to have finished the whole book, only the knowledge from the 1st few hours of reading were stored in my brain. The rest? Hahahaa.. Hohohoo...
My boss have been on MC the 1st 2 days of the week, and that leaves me with no supervision, chatting happily with my buddy, through emails and playing excel games. Just when i thought "great, hes coming back tml, finally i can learn some pratical stuff"..my boss returned coughing and sneezing and he told me "sorry Denise, think you have to bear with me until i recover... But its good that you are reading the book".
=.= I was not at all glad that he'd "praised" me, coz im not at all enjoying the reading!!! Duh!! The only thing that im looking fwd to since hes not going to teach me for the week is meetings! But, there's only 2 meetings this week! And all is done within the short 1.5 hr! *sob sob*
Today, im left alone in the room. My boss's on half day and my buddy's on a day. Shiok right? A room to myself? But guess i am never satisfied. Though i can do whatever things that i want, but i cant stop but keep thinking that i am not contributing to the wealth of the company. At least, im not working for my salary! (><)
Sometimes I'm just so irritated by myself. Why think so much? Why complain so much? Got things to do complain, no things to do also complain. Haiz..
I'm bored~~~
2008年9月14日日曜日
Sales Disappointment
Went to Adidas warehouse sales ystd. Haiz.. Super disappointing lar! I was hoping to grab some great deals like the Royal Sporting house warehouse sales at Macpherson last sat, but.. to our disappointment.. Sales = no sales. =.=3 dumb dumbs went all the way in the early noon, tooting on the train from JP to JE to Clementi to Outram and to Kovan, and straining our eyes looking at the "powerful" 2MP small map in Mr Yeo's mobile, walking our way in the unfamiliar tampinese road to Wing Tai warehouse sales hoping to grab some Adidas deals.
We were so relieved when we finally found the place but seconds later, we got a 不祥的预感. People were walking out empty handed! And there were no crowds! So unlike the BIG crowds during the royal sporting house sales! We walked in, hmm.. Ok.. After spending about 10-15mins looking at the stuffs.. HAIZ.. where are the '50% sales onwards'? Its like they marked up the u.p and sell it at 10-20% its u.p? hmm.. Sadded.
Waste our time waste our energy lar!! PUI!
First week PASSED
Finally finally FINALLY~!! Ive passed my 1st week in PIL rather peacefully? Hahahaha..
System was not up in my work station and I can only access to my email account. I couldnt log in to the internet which made most of my days reading the "bible", playing around with the already-used-to Lotus notes, and email chatting with my buddy and other newcomers. Hahaha!
Was telling them.. Its a chore acting busy. "Want work no work, Want talk cannot talk, Want surf net cannot surf net, Want walk around dono where to walk, Want sleep cannot sleep". It suxs.
Have been tagging along my buddy for lunches and my boss for some meetings. So far ive attended 3 meetings, out of which im only familiar with the finance one coz im familiar with the terms. Hahaha! The rest?.. Uh oh.. Shipping terms? Sorry, im totally clueless about it.
Was regretting why I didnt do well in my Geography during my Sec sch days when my boss was telling me about the service lines the vessels are going. Red sea, Black sea, Far East etc? From Shanghai to ?? to ?? to ?? and back to Singapore. What the .. ?!
Just when I finally have some thing to do on Fri, SHIT.. Ive made a super duper dumb dumb mistake! I was so excited that my system is finally working, and i finally figure out how to extract datas etc. Ive overlooked at the TYPE of data im going extract. Haiz.. Was supposed to extract Actual for Q1 and Proforma for Q2 so that i can tabulate H1 result and compare with H1 budget result. But I forgot about the data for Proforma Q2!!!
Dumb dumb lar! I was still very confident that i did correctly, after many checkings and told my boss "ok.. Im done". When my boss opened the file. He was super duper disappointed and "lectured" me - "you know, you can always ask me if you dont understand. Im ok to discussion one. Its very obvious that you dont understand coz you are only comparing Q1 result with H1 results. I will be very sad if you dont understand and you dont ask you know?".. =(
Only till then den i realise, SHIT.. I forgot about the proforma. Coz my whole mind was all about his request "compare actual against budget" and im very excited about playing around with new system. Haiz.. Guess I will just have to relax.. think 1st den react. Hahaha.
Ok.... Now about the people I met. People here are quite nice. But i still miss the people in FDI. Hahaha! Maybe coz PIL is a big organisation and Ive always prefer working with smaller groups. At least you'll feel more "family warmth"? Hahaha.
There were altogether 6 staff who went for the orientation on Mon including myself. Quite easy to get along with maybe coz our age group is about the same? 22-24 age? Hahaha.. And all of us are from Poly.. So the "bringing up" is similar. Whahaha! Had lunch with them on Thurs. Felt quite comfortable, discussing the work we are doing, sharing infos that we know about this co. and our chairman. Whaha! Really like a bunch of attachment students working together. Haha!
Sad thing about my lunch time is that it starts at 1pm! So different from my used-to-lunch at 12pm. And I have to give up the idea of lunching with my friends working near me! (><) Cant lunch with Jan, Oppa & Els le lar!! And i havent figure out the way to Hong Lim, so cant lunch with Aileen for the time being.. (><)
System was not up in my work station and I can only access to my email account. I couldnt log in to the internet which made most of my days reading the "bible", playing around with the already-used-to Lotus notes, and email chatting with my buddy and other newcomers. Hahaha!
Was telling them.. Its a chore acting busy. "Want work no work, Want talk cannot talk, Want surf net cannot surf net, Want walk around dono where to walk, Want sleep cannot sleep". It suxs.
Have been tagging along my buddy for lunches and my boss for some meetings. So far ive attended 3 meetings, out of which im only familiar with the finance one coz im familiar with the terms. Hahaha! The rest?.. Uh oh.. Shipping terms? Sorry, im totally clueless about it.
Was regretting why I didnt do well in my Geography during my Sec sch days when my boss was telling me about the service lines the vessels are going. Red sea, Black sea, Far East etc? From Shanghai to ?? to ?? to ?? and back to Singapore. What the .. ?!
Just when I finally have some thing to do on Fri, SHIT.. Ive made a super duper dumb dumb mistake! I was so excited that my system is finally working, and i finally figure out how to extract datas etc. Ive overlooked at the TYPE of data im going extract. Haiz.. Was supposed to extract Actual for Q1 and Proforma for Q2 so that i can tabulate H1 result and compare with H1 budget result. But I forgot about the data for Proforma Q2!!!
Dumb dumb lar! I was still very confident that i did correctly, after many checkings and told my boss "ok.. Im done". When my boss opened the file. He was super duper disappointed and "lectured" me - "you know, you can always ask me if you dont understand. Im ok to discussion one. Its very obvious that you dont understand coz you are only comparing Q1 result with H1 results. I will be very sad if you dont understand and you dont ask you know?".. =(
Only till then den i realise, SHIT.. I forgot about the proforma. Coz my whole mind was all about his request "compare actual against budget" and im very excited about playing around with new system. Haiz.. Guess I will just have to relax.. think 1st den react. Hahaha.
Ok.... Now about the people I met. People here are quite nice. But i still miss the people in FDI. Hahaha! Maybe coz PIL is a big organisation and Ive always prefer working with smaller groups. At least you'll feel more "family warmth"? Hahaha.
There were altogether 6 staff who went for the orientation on Mon including myself. Quite easy to get along with maybe coz our age group is about the same? 22-24 age? Hahaha.. And all of us are from Poly.. So the "bringing up" is similar. Whahaha! Had lunch with them on Thurs. Felt quite comfortable, discussing the work we are doing, sharing infos that we know about this co. and our chairman. Whaha! Really like a bunch of attachment students working together. Haha!
Sad thing about my lunch time is that it starts at 1pm! So different from my used-to-lunch at 12pm. And I have to give up the idea of lunching with my friends working near me! (><) Cant lunch with Jan, Oppa & Els le lar!! And i havent figure out the way to Hong Lim, so cant lunch with Aileen for the time being.. (><)
2008年9月5日金曜日
朋友。。。
你说我胆小、见死不救、八卦、是个假人、不理会别人的感受，但你又何尝检讨一下你自己？
我承认我是胆小，我自认我是一个没自信心的人。但这不是你从一开始就认识的我吗？
我自认我不是一个见死不救的朋友。但，当我试着伸出援手时，你又从何接受？从何感激？
我知道我是爱讲话的人，但八卦？讲别人是非？你也太令我失望了。如果这八年来的友情，只换来你对我这肤浅的了解，那我又能怎样？
认识我的人都知道我是一个有话直说得人，我从不说别人爱听的话。我赞成、我同意，也是因为这是我的的确确的想法和感想。
我试着改善别人对你的看法，但却换来你敏感的“我出卖你”，“我说你是非”。
‘不理会别人的感受’？那你呢？对我说出了怎么伤害的话，你又何尝理会我的感触？
如果我没想过你的感受，你说为何我要一直忍耐和隐藏对你的不满呢？
朋友，请不要误会我。请不要把我看得那么渺小。
朋友，不是你的公主、不是你的沙包、更不是你的奴隶。
长久的建立，一秒钟就能被摧毁。
友情也如此。一时的不满、一时的冲动、一时的计较，就能把好不容易建立起的友情给摧毁。
“和朋友一起工作会带来友情的裂痕”我现在开始相信了。
是我的错？我想是吧？错在我不该啦你与我一同合作。
我该内疚？该计较？该耿根与坏？
我想没必要。是你的就是你的，该走的终究会走。
我承认我是胆小，我自认我是一个没自信心的人。但这不是你从一开始就认识的我吗？
我自认我不是一个见死不救的朋友。但，当我试着伸出援手时，你又从何接受？从何感激？
我知道我是爱讲话的人，但八卦？讲别人是非？你也太令我失望了。如果这八年来的友情，只换来你对我这肤浅的了解，那我又能怎样？
认识我的人都知道我是一个有话直说得人，我从不说别人爱听的话。我赞成、我同意，也是因为这是我的的确确的想法和感想。
我试着改善别人对你的看法，但却换来你敏感的“我出卖你”，“我说你是非”。
‘不理会别人的感受’？那你呢？对我说出了怎么伤害的话，你又何尝理会我的感触？
如果我没想过你的感受，你说为何我要一直忍耐和隐藏对你的不满呢？
朋友，请不要误会我。请不要把我看得那么渺小。
朋友，不是你的公主、不是你的沙包、更不是你的奴隶。
长久的建立，一秒钟就能被摧毁。
友情也如此。一时的不满、一时的冲动、一时的计较，就能把好不容易建立起的友情给摧毁。
“和朋友一起工作会带来友情的裂痕”我现在开始相信了。
是我的错？我想是吧？错在我不该啦你与我一同合作。
我该内疚？该计较？该耿根与坏？
我想没必要。是你的就是你的，该走的终究会走。
Bye FDI..Hello PIL..
I am officially a release from First Data International after 21months !
At the end of the day, just when I thought "great.. I wont have to give my leaving speech in front of everybody.. yeah!!", Noel came to me with the farewell present I chose and Susan shouted all the BAU staff to gether around my desk. I was so so embarrassed.
The atmosphere when Noel said his speech of appreciation to me was weird.. When he came and gave me a farewell hug, tears were rolling in my eyes. Though I have short period working with Noel since he take over only in Jun/July, that moment when he hugged me.. It felt like im leaving my dad.
Many came to bid me goodbye. I can see their faces of misses and that really touched me. Especially Vaishali, a girl whom felt like my sister the first day i enter FDI coz she was just sitting beside me. She came to me saying "Why you never tell me today is your last day?? I just saw your farewell mail..So shocking!! I will miss you!!". That moment, i hugged her.
There was a funny commotion about "courtship of Ms Lim Shuin Dee" between Regit and Kevin before I leave. Super funny!!
This morning, when I checked my personal mail, I was so suprised to saw 2 mails ! One from Prakash and another from Agung. Prakash!! A staff I have never made friendly conversations with mailed and ask about my whereabouts and gave me his blessings! Im so so touched!
I will miss all these fun and laughter !! Wonder whether PIL will have this kind of ambience? Hmm.. I shall put back all my misses in FDI and open my arms to PIL..
THANK YOU ALL~!!
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